What Does Being a "Clown" in the World of Dating Mean?
When it comes to dating, the concept of being a "clown" has been going around the internet recently. If you're a self-confessed clown, perhaps, you admit to being a fool for someone or at having a love life (or some sort of sanity in the chaotic world of dating, at least,) knowing all too well that your chances are slim, but still pushing your luck regardless. Well, if you can relate, then we officially welcome you to the Clown Club! Yes, you may feel stupid about it, but, hey, at least you're not the only one!
To further expound on this trap that even the best of us falls into, here are some not so subtle traits that would confirm if you've become a full-fledged clown while navigating the winding road to finding love:
1. Your feelings are unrequited.
One of the things that all clowns have in common is perhaps having feelings that are not returned by their object of affection. It's not that your crush doesn't know you exist; it's more like they ignore the fact that you do have a crush on them. Ouch, right? But, if you're a clown, that's not the end of the road for you anyway. Keep going!
2. You're always "wasak."
Given the fact that your love is unrequited, being a clown means that you're likely broken no matter how tough you project yourself to be. "Still alive, but barely breathing" should be your Twitter bio. No matter how much of a drunk, irrational, devastated, crushed-to-the-ground mess you are, you've already accepted that being wasak is one of your personality traits, so who the heck cares?
3. You lie to yourself.
That imagery of The Joker forcing himself to smile—yep, that's you. Even though you know that you're hopeless, you still try to convince yourself that everything is okay, and whatever hardship that you're going through right now is essenitially part of loving someone (or moving on from them.) Everything is in flames around you, but hell never bothered you anyway, right? Rak.
4. You resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Aside from lying to yourself, you also do things that would temporarily make you feel better. You deny or repress your feelings. You drink more than you should. You do some "soul searching" (wherein you only try to hook up with someone, let's be honest.) You date around. You end up hurting the people that you date because they're not "him" or "her." And guess what? None of these things are helping you. But, then again, where do broken hearts go nga ba, Tita Whitney? No one may ever know.
5. You're "marupok."
Even when they're clearly stomping on your feelings, hopes, and dreams, it doesn't matter to you. Marupok ka eh. So you're there at their every beck and call. You grab every chance you get to prove to them that you're worth their attention. You believe what they say even though they've already lied to you. You welcome them with open arms no matter how much they've hurt you. And you think that even though the timing is wrong for you, they are still the right person who never meant to harm you. No, sorry, we're not personally attacking you. We're just spitting clown facts!
6. You're a warrior.
Well, if there's one thing to be admired about you, it's your will to fight a good fight. You're still there aren't you? Well, being resilient is a good trait. But make sure to know when to lay your arms down and think of yourself once and for all. Being a clown, no matter how funny or thrilling it may be for you, won't bring you real joy. So take some time and reflect on that. ...Or not?
*Cue circus music*