#ChalkAsks: Is It Okay To Date Your Friend's Ex?

Maan de Vera
Posted at May 14, 2020

 



We don’t get to choose who we will fall in love with. Sometimes, even if we don’t want to, we wind up catching feelings for our friend’s ex. Whether or not we should pursue this feeling has always been a matter of debate. While it seems like there’s an unspoken rule that your barkada’s previous S.O. is off-limits, are you really ready to miss out on the possibility of a beautiful relationship just because of this?

Here, we’ve rounded up 10 people to answer: Is it okay to date your friend’s ex?

“I think it’s okay. As long as your friend and their ex are on good terms. Also, you have to make sure that they have broken up for a significant time already…they should be broken up for at least a year.” - Jeff, 22

“I can’t see why I would date my friend’s ex. Even if they’re relationship has ended, for sure, they still have some sort of feelings for each other. Since I respect that, I will definitely not do it.” - Angel, 25

“Before, definitely no. But today, it’s highly dependent on the situation. You have to consider how much respect you have for both your friendship and yourself. Will it be worth it?” - Jason, 25

“For me, no. That’s because I respect my friend. Since the person is already an ex of my friend, I know that they will always have a connection and I really don’t want to meddle with that. So I’d rather not do it.” - Kharen, 22

“Depends. It’s okay if my friend and the ex will both give their consent. Everyone should have an understanding. However, if the relationship will happen behind the back of the friend, then that’s totally a foul.” - Jerald, 24

 

“I honestly don’t see anything wrong with it. Just make sure that you consider the feelings of everyone involved and respectfully inform your friend. Just make sure that you’re ready for the consequences, then go for it. ” - Aika, 21

“Love is limitless. So I don’t see any problem regarding that as long as you have good intentions for the person. We never know if that person would be 'the one,' so just pursue who you want to pursue.” - Mico, 24

“No. Your moral sense should stop you from dating your friend’s ex -- that’s if you really consider your friend as a FRIEND. There are too many fishes in the sea to choose from. Date someone who doesn’t come with that kind of baggage.” - Aira, 22

“I don’t think it should be a problem. We should be open to our choices in dating whoever we want to. To be honest, I don’t know how it became a norm that you shouldn’t date your friend’s ex” - Alphy, 28

“It actually depends on the reason and timeframe for their breakup. If they ended things on good terms, then it’s okay to pursue. If they didn’t, then you’re being disrespectful to your friend.” - Kim, 20

Whatever you end up doing with your feelings towards a friend’s ex, just remember that there’s no easy option when you get yourself in this kind of situation. Someone is bound to get hurt. So, the least that you can do is to really think hard and do what you think is best.

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